Kampala Hash House Harriers

April - May 2009
Home | Hash Trash | Cultural Learnings at KH3 | Contacts | How to Host a Hash | Songs & Jokes | Mismanagement | Hareline | History of KH3 | Hash Pics

HASHZINE 4 APRIL – MAY  2009 COVERING RUNS UP TO 1316

These runs took us from Zone 7 on to Silk Royale, Fuego Cocktails Muyenga, Nomo Gallery and ended up at the only Canopy. Thankx go to Dirty Dick, Queennie, Moon Wanker, Mama Mia the boda boda on most trails, Patagonia and Sexy Island. On On wankers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

As you may be thinly aware, the only prerequisite to hashing has always been a sense of humour, as running and athletic abilities of wankers like Parasite, Queennie & the likes usually take a back seat to the social aspects of the sport currently and ably understood by the only Patagonia. In short I must say that “if you have a half mind to join the hash, that’s all you need!!!!”

Every hash run is a new adventure as you might have discovered at the Canopy – new scenery, different trail hazards, someone doing something stupidly humorous like the bum tit bum wanker, etc. As you are al ware, it’s a weekly (etc) installment of the continuing hash saga. That saga is wrought with adventure and perils and behold it is simply the amazing!!

NOTICE BOARD -  

  • The German Shepherd departed from KH3 on to the Nairobery after undergoing an induction course on how to survive and/or preserve yourself at the Nairobery.
  • Goofy’s new e-mail address is – savimaxxcompanylimited@gmail.com for those interested in taking any shit out of him.
  • Rowa QUEEN OF SHEBA Hussen (the goddess from Ethiopia) the in charge of the next Africa Interhash’s address is – rodilya@yahoo.com Cellphone No. 911602084/912049112 or office No. 116613877. Perry mason please take note.
  • On his way back home from the Canopy run, Katanga Bbi’s vehicle ran out of fuel. The first wankers to arrive at the scene were; Dick Chopper, Mama Birahuni, Lillian & an identified male wanker. On arrival Dick Chopper asked her fellow wankers to assist her in chopping it off since Katanga has always played hard to get & since he was at a dark spot. On being restrained, Mama Birahuni suggested that they pour beer in the tank since they had plenty in their vehicle & she at time honestly believed it could run the vehicle. At the end of the night after a plea from the male wanker, they drove to the petrol station & by the time they remembered to return & rescue Kataga Bbi, it was well in the wee hours of the morning. That is the hash for you. Isn’t it????????

UGLY FACES -   During the period in issue, we garnered the following wankers; Kenneth Kamyuka the Cricketer, Wise Antony, Inflation the returnee, Unise BANDIT, Larry Fields the poor investor from Washington, Kabagambe Douglas, Rubona Mathew the Detoother Dentist, Byamugisha Peace the Admin. at Delloitte, Abaho Agatha of Delloitte, Kessie Dick of Bamako working at Mbale, Bonnie Makamoyo of Canada working with Ssifa, George Michael the Surveyor with Homes Housing Group, Obwa the farmer, Rwegi Julius of Arutha, Joel Mugwisa, Swine Flue of Kilimanjaro hash, Queen of Sheba of Addis hash, Mapenzi Fiona of Monrovia hash, White Ass the returnee, Dingo & Dildo the returnees from Australian hash, Sanyu Fuggles the  returnee, Patricia Nsanze the liar working with the British Council, Kapapala the returnee, Natukunda Eva the UPE from law school, Obadia Nkabi the runner, Andrew Kiyingi of Deloitte, Betty from Norway, Regina Mutyaba the liar, Viola the Tour Consultant, Susan Acho the guarded wanker, Mayuma Atino the full time mum, Kansime Rona the returnee, Sula Eric, Andrew, Dr. Sengendo of the Ministry of works, Wabwire Juma working with UCU and Kasule Frank the Auditor. They were all welcomed with a DD each accompanied by the various hash tunes. On On!!!!!!!!!!

SINNERS – The most outstanding sinners during this period were; Muchira & Namuchira for jointly making George Michael the stripper to come, The Dutch for failing to set a hash on their own Dutch Queen’s day, Pipping Dick for spending the whole Sunday drinking beer at the Africa Interhash instead of attempting even a (2) minutes run, Kiggundu & a Muzungu hasher for surfing pornography on a lap top at the hash, Mputa for complaining about Mosquittoes at the Canopy run, Blow Back for un dressing in front of hash kids and the fish and the only Witch Doctor for using a vibrating Machine at the hash.

ACHIEVERS - The Mismanagement did announce that George Sagala and Mama Birahuni did clock (50) runs I hear at their presumed (100th) run. My advise to them is that even an appeal at the hash is not anticipated so they should take it like true hashers.

BAPTISM – Finally Beyendera Frank was baptized MIGINGO SHIT and Kerunen Emmanuel the BUFFALO DUNG

CHATTERBOXES & HASH SHIT

During the a foresaid period, Kandahar was chatterboxed for allowing herself to be vibed by Warm Beer, Moon Wanker for talking on a vibrating Machine in a fashion statement and Mama Birahuni for talking on a vibrating machine while at the cir-kol.

And finally Bastard was hash shitted for disrespecting the hooks, Conman for promising the Mismanagement Committee that he would set a run at the Africa Interhash, getting the money for it and failing to set a run, Kamudulu for pissing on a fish at the Canopy stream yet it was to be eaten by the hashers and the water to be drunker by the locals.

Dear wankers, a good trash writer is urgently required and the qualifications can be got from the following;

What is a Hash Trash?

(The Basics)

         The Newsletter for the hashers id commonly referred to as Hash Trash. It is called a “Trash”, because the contents are usually not worth consideration by the literary elite, much less by polite society. The irreverence of the sport and its members is well illustrated by the humorous depiction of events and the colourful jokes and other material in its pages.

         Getting past this pedantic description, the Hash Trash has become as much a part of the frivolous nature of the Hash House Harriers as beer, bawdy song and mooning. A well-done trash is entertaining and read, not just laid aside like an ad leaflet.   Commonly to most trashes are three basic components- humor, writeup and calendar.

Humor

         Permeating of all the Hash Trash is humor, just as it is an integral part of the hashing life itself.  Most Hashers seek the Hash House Harriers not for sport, but for that release it gives to the drudgery of everyday life as doctors and nurses, lawyers and lawmakers, management and labour, consulate officials and guards, officers and enlisted, engineers and technicians, professors and teachers, etc. They seek that same release in their hash literature. That is why it is mentioned first as a basic element of any trash and why it is an important goal for any harsh scribe.

         The trash shuns competitors, seeks to expose the dirt on those who are more colourful or make mistakes in the sometimes varying and elusive traditions of the local hash.

         Hashers who set good and imaginative trails are applauded.

         The scribe of these local traditions should be chosen well and should be one of the more experienced members of the group.

         The writeup is a good tool for training hares as well as the conduct of the pack, especially if done in humor, keeping the traditions within local bounds.

         Exaggeration is always a good tool in hash humor.

         “Always write something beautiful which can please the gods. Never write anything that disturbs peace and joy”.

         As long as you provide these basics, it does not matter if your trash is a one paper or a booklet.  Anything you add to these basics are just cream on top.

JOKE OF THE DAY

A old lady went up to a statue of Jesus on the cross and kissed his feet. A soldier walking by asked her, "Tell me, would you also kiss the feet of your great leader Castro as well?"

The lady replied, "Yes, as long as he was hung this way."

Uncle George spots a nice looking gal in a bar goes up and starts small talk. Since she didn't back off he asked her name.

"Carmen," she replied.

That's a nice name," he said warming up the conversation, "Who named you, your mother?"

"No, I named myself," she answered.

"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"

“Because I like cars, and I like men," she said looking directly into his eyes. "What's your name?"

"Beerfuck."

 

Enter supporting content here