Hash Trash

Marine House Trash # no. 1057

BY (7) Bloody Marines

I hear Police have been going around warning all men who frequent clubs, parties, Golf Courses and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. We are told that some shrewd females use a date rape drug on the market they have wrongly been calling “Beer” – the drug found in a liquid form and available anywhere in bottles, cans, taps and in large “Kegs”.

I hear our previous and revered beer is abusively used by female sexual predators at those parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home for sex with them with no strings attached. That they are convinced that a guy consumes a few units of beer and is then rendered helpless against this approach.

I would imagine that hashers are very unfortunate fellows. If what happens in other clubs, parties and local pubs as we are told would happen to the hash which of course is at times referred to as the drinking Club with a running problem, then this world would be a better place to live in. The female wankers are simply not as cunning or as predatory as expected. Even wankers themselves simply cannot succumb to the desires to perform such excruciating, degrading, cruel and horrific sexual acts even if they were to be available. And that is why KARAMOJA has consistently accused KH3 wankers of being incapable anything in this World. He claims that he always finds them in the same way he leaves them. What an accusation!!!!!!

Ugly faces – This time round we had; Migel, Barbara Nantanda a cashier with KCC, Kimera of URA, Jeremiah a Marine, Sandra an alleged House Wife, Naboth a Liar in Town, Pocket Pull, Ann of UPE Brand, Jackie and a certain Muteesi with UTL. Interestingly non of these ugly ones new who made them come.

Sinners & Criminals - Obwa the jail Bird was down Downed for bring the hash into disrespect, Biltong for talking while in the circle, FEDERO for misappropriating the Chatterbox to the hash’s detriment and of course Muchira and ELEPHANT for whatever God knows. Santa Anzo of the Arapapa Models fame was shown what it means to appear in new shoes.

Hashshit – Hero the American Marine took the hash shit as expected which of course was not at the hash. These marines have specialized in giving hashers the worst food you can think of and they in return have always received the hash shit every time they host the hash. Interesting stuff!!! I hear Cockroach has also misappropriated this one. I think some people should never be hash shitted simply because we go through a lot to retrieve our implements. Any way I leave that to hashocracy.

Hash Misinformation –

- 7/5/2005 Dutch Queen’s day run at Obligato. Remember there will be free T/shirts, free Beer and a free live Band. As usual the run will cost a paltry Ushs. 6,000/= only.

On On to the next hash !!!!!!!!

HASH # 1058 - 11/4/2005

Kolping at Bwaise

BY Big Balls & Patagonia

I hear it was a good run set by Big Balls and his partner in crime. Oh polise give us a break. I think it would be in order to say that Big Balls once again hosted a mosquito infected hash at a traditional trail last marked in 2003. And I think that perfectly explains why on earth there was no single ugly face at the hash apart from Emmanuel Kato the returnee who even looked more uglier not with that weight he gained after giving up the hash. Of course as expected, Dutch Disease took the opportunity together with the available Grandmasters to take a beer for his new shoes direct from Owino.

I must also say that that traditional hash reminded me of the ancient or is it primitive or traditional England where a person could not have sex unless he or she had consent of the king in those days (unless that person was in the Royal Family). It is said that when anyone wanted to have a baby, they got consent of the King, the King gave them a placard they hung on their door while they were having sex. The pacard had F.U.C.K (Fornication Under Consent of the King) on it. Now at least u know where that English traditional word came from just like you can predict the origin of the traditional trail at Kolping Bwaise.

Baptisms – In a show of Hashocracy, Sonko Steven was named Uchumi Opondo and Anita Batamuhiza the House Wife was named Mrs. Uchumi Opondo.

Hashshit – I like the fact that KH3 made a statement that day that once a hasher always a hasher even out side the hash. Therefore hashers are expected to be exemplary wherever they are or they go. If you have any doubt, ask Idd Amin. In our last hash, Mrs. Uchumi Opondo was hash shitted for disrespecting the H/M. But before we ended the circle, she was stripped of the same honour which was later given to Elephant and Muchira jointly for also disrespecting the H/M. After the circle during our dinner, Idd Amin the original candidate for the hash shit who had disappeared resurfaced for dinner. Dutch Disease in a show of patriotism re - called the hashers from their dinner back to the circle to honour Idd Amin. Elephant and Muchira the latest joint hash shitters were also stripped of the hash shit in favour of Idd Amin for having his Goat graze at Lugogo while doing the Good Friday run and later eating the same Goat on Easter Sunday.

If you are thinking about the hash shit for today, I dare suggest a representative of the American Ladies or any look alike. Reason! Can you imagine that last week (8) people filed a suit in Court in USA seeking $600,000/= (Ushs. 1.5 Billion) each in damages in a lawsuit involving a woman convicted of repeatedly urinating into an office coffee pot. The wives of (4) of the plaintiffs are also seeking an additional $200,000 (Ushs. 350M) each. The men consumed coffee and the Woman’s urine. The wives claim damages because their husbands “now fear to freely mingle in society because of the derision and jokes” now made about them. That is the World for you!!

Hash Misinformation –

- 2/5/2005 Dutch Queen’s day run.

- 4/6/2005 Sesse Palm Beach run.

Up coming events on the Nairoberry Hash (NH3) – This is from Kagiri “Flying Toilet” Mwihia the Trailmaster at NH3. If you are interested, you can pick any of the under listed events or all.

- 9 – 10 July 2005 Inaugural Magadi Run.

- 10 – 11 Sept 2005 Mt. Kenya Run

- 1 – 2 Oct 2005 Naivasha Relay.

On On !!!!!!!!