Kampala Hash House Harriers

Cultural Learnings at KH3

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Lesson 1 for  Hash Newbies

They say, education never stops. And as an academic, I cannot agree more!  But who would have thought that the happy beer drinkers with a running problem, would have lessons for public intellectuals like yours truly, uhm!

So, 2011 winds down, the year I “came-of-age”, let me toss to the group that has taught me so much! And here are the 10 most things I have learned from the Hash.

1.     Just because you are at a road race does not mean you cannot have your beer opener. It’s kinda like forgetting your running gear? Dah!


2.   Running does not have to be logical, continuous and mapped out. In the absence of a map, please look out for check backs, hooks and dead ends.


3.    Every running trail deserves a beer stop. Down Down and keep going


4.    No! He did not turn water into wine, you moron. Beer!


5.     Child rights activists are confused to think that children have a right to be with their parents at all times. How come hashers are not arrested for always drinking out in bars?


6.    In retrospect, my three-year old has more rights than I do. As an adult, I was denied the right to choose a name of my liking when somebody baptized me ugly Betty.


7.    Hon. Maria Kiwanuka is wrong to say that beer companies are highly responsible for the scarcity of sugar in Uganda.  Has she heard of the hashers?


8.    When Nsaba Buturo is advocating for an anti-pornography bill in public interest, please remind him that the hash is not party to it. Who can afford to lose the likes of Dry Climax, Small Hole, In Between the Thighs, Itching Balls, just a few…


9.     The Hash is the only place where UGX8,000 can buy you a plate of food at such lavish places as the Sheraton Kampala Hotel, Protea Hotel and Terrace (Muyenga)


10.  Only at the Hash can you “look the Kabaka in the mouth”, i.e. get royalty on their knees for hash shit

And with this hashers and harriets, I pronounce you spouse and spouse. May your beers kiss each other.

On On

Ugly BettyText color

Hash Scribe 2011-2012 

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