They say, education never stops. And as an academic, I cannot
agree more! But who would have thought
that the happy beer drinkers with a running problem, would have lessons for public
intellectuals like yours truly, uhm!
So, 2011 winds down, the year I “came-of-age”, let me
toss to the group that has taught me so much! And here are the 10 most things I
have learned from the Hash.
1.
Just because you are at a road race does not
mean you cannot have your beer opener. It’s kinda like forgetting your running
gear? Dah!
2.
Running does not have to be logical, continuous
and mapped out. In the absence of a map, please look out for check backs, hooks
and dead ends.
3.
Every running trail deserves a beer stop.
Down Down and keep going
4.
No! He did not turn water into wine, you
moron. Beer!
5.
Child
rights activists are confused to think that children have a right to be with
their parents at all times. How come hashers are not arrested for always drinking
out in bars?
6.
In retrospect, my three-year old has more
rights than I do. As an adult, I was denied the right to choose a name of my
liking when somebody baptized me ugly
Betty.
7.
Hon. Maria Kiwanuka is wrong to say that beer
companies are highly responsible for the scarcity of sugar in Uganda. Has she heard of the hashers?
8.
When Nsaba Buturo is advocating for an
anti-pornography bill in public interest, please remind him that the hash is
not party to it. Who can afford to lose the likes of Dry Climax, Small Hole, In Between the Thighs, Itching Balls, just
a few…
9.
The Hash is the only place
where UGX8,000 can buy you a plate of food at such lavish places as the
Sheraton Kampala Hotel, Protea Hotel and Terrace (Muyenga)
10. Only
at the Hash can you “look the Kabaka in the mouth”, i.e. get royalty on their
knees for hash shit
And with this hashers and harriets, I pronounce you spouse
and spouse. May your beers kiss each other.
On On
Ugly Betty
Hash Scribe 2011-2012
